Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
