I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Randomize
