he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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