mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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