So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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