They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
