this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
