he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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