His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
