last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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