somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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