I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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