With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I party with great urgency now.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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