Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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