If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
