The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
