he shaved USA in his pubs
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
