Don't you send me to vm
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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