Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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