Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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