i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
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