You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
