dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Randomize
