My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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