it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
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