They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I want her autograph on my taint
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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