I CAN MOONWALK!
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
