I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
