Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
