i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize