It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
