how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
