i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize