listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
