Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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