i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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