grandma shit on top of the toilet
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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