I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
