Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
