Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
