I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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