Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
