I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize