if you like me you must not know who I am
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
