Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
