Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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