Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
