he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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