You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
