To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
