Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
