you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
So here I am, sexting at work.
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