can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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