so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
