worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
