you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
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Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
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Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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