Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
