I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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