I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
