did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Fuck now we have to have sex
In a bet, need to win
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
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So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
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Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.