your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize