it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
