hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID