Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
