I got chris browned last night
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
