i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
he thought i was a dude.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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